This Is Why We Can Never Have Nice Things
by The-stuttering-kiwi
Summary: Sequel to "This is why we can't have nice things." and "This is why we still can't have nice things." I would write a summary but they never turn out to be what the story is about so, I am just going to let it go.
1. Chapter 1

**Would you mind if I killed you?**

**Would you mind if I tried to?**

**'Cause you have**

**Turned into my worst enemy**

**You carry hate that I don't feel**

**It's over now, what have you done?**

_**What have you done now?**_

**I, I've been waiting for someone like you**

**But now you are slipping away**

_**What have you done now?**_

**Why, why does fate make us suffer?**

**There's a curse between us, between me and you**

_**Within Temptation - What Have You Done**_

* * *

"Bring in the prisoner." Odin's command rang throughout the hall and made Sigrun's body tremble. Thor grasped her hand and squeezed quickly; he was gone before the tinkling of chains reached her ears.

_Loki._

_The prisoner._

Her eyes caught the sight of Loki's long shadow before he turned the corner, briefly thought of following after her brother, and fixed her gaze on a spot on the marble floor.

It looked like a face.

It looked like it was laughing at her.

She felt irrationally guilty, it gnawed at her insides. She felt sick.

Feet stopped mere inches from her, but she didn't dare look up. How could she look at him?

"Loki." Frigga called to her son.

"Hello mother." Sigrun saw Loki's feet turn as he faced his mother, "Have I made you proud?"

"Please don't make this worse."

"How could this get any worse?" His voice sarcastic.

"Enough." Odin commanded, "I will speak to him alone."

Sigrun heard Frigga sweep from the room, and wondered if she should follow, but she felt rather cemented to the spot where she stood; staring at the laughing face.

She felt Loki's eyes on her, and her skin felt on fire as she felt the color rise in her cheeks. Her eyes found a particularly large speck of dust and followed its movements in the air.

Loki's feet turned back, and took a few steps to the throne where Odin sat, he stood very still for a moment, and a chuckle broke from his lips.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about."

"You really don't see the severity of your crimes? Where ever you go there is war, ruin, and death."

"I went down to Midgard to rule as a benevolent god, just like you."

"We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die, just as humans do."

"Give or take five thousand years." Loki's voice was light.

"And all this, because Loki desires a crown."

"It is my birthright." Loki's voice became icy.

"You're birthright, was to die!" Odin yelled, spit flying from his mouth. Sigrun jumped, nearly out of her skin, and slowly raised her eyes. "As a child, cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in, you would not be here now to hate me."

"If I am for the ax then, for Mercy's sake, just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks it's just…I don't love them." Loki finished quietly.

Odin stared hard at his son. It seemed he was trying to make a decision. What to do with the crazed god?

"Sigrun and Frigga are the only reason you are still alive. And you will never see them again." Loki staggered backward, as if he had been struck. "You will live out the rest of your days in the dungeons." A sob mixed a scream wrenched itself from Sigrun's lungs, she had to cover her mouth to stifle the sounds.

"What of Thor?" Loki sounded breathless,"You will make that witless oaf king while I rot in chains."

"Thor must undo the damage you have done. He will bring order to the nine realms and then yes, he will be king."

Loki took a few small steps backward.

"Take him away." Odin slumped back in the throne looking drained.

"No, no, no, no, no." Sigrun started forward toward Loki but was stopped when several pairs of strong hands held her back. Her struggles made no difference. Loki was tethered where he stood, and leaned against his chains toward her.

"Let her go." Odin's words were quiet.

The guards released her immediately. Sigrun stumbled toward Loki and fell into him.

Goosebumps sprang up on her skin when he pressed his lips against her hair.

"I'm so sorry." The words were muffled against his chest, and she breathed him in.

"Don't worry, little one, I will be quite comfortable." He replied lightly.

"I'm sorry." She repeated. Even though she knew she shouldn't be. Even though she knew this was less than he you. You did what you needed to do."

"I told you I wouldn't hold it against you. You did what you needed to do."

The guilt gnawed painfully. Sigrun just shook her head.

She felt a cool finger under her chin, tilt her head up.

"I love you, beautiful one." His voice so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"I love you too, of course, I do." Her voice hitched as the words caught in her throat. How could she even say them?

Loki bent his face down to hers and slowly pressed his lips against hers. Sigruns cells tingled.

"Enough." Odin's voice reminded them, they were not alone, and Sigrun was hyper aware of the many pairs of eyes on them.

The guards holding onto Loki's tethers began to pull him away.

"No." Sigrun's hands reached out to grab on to him, to keep him close. Once again strong hands held her back, but only one pair this time.

"It's okay little sister." Thor's voice came from behind her. Sigrun's arms dropped and hung limply at her sides. They watched as Loki turned the corner and waited until the sound of chains was no more.


	2. Chapter 2

**I remember you that night**

**Standing in the rain**

**Your black stare**

**Your black eyes**

**I remember what you said**

**Before I turned away**

**My heart died**

**Your sweetest lies**

**And if I saw you bleed**

**I'd stay here till the end**

**But you can't change for me**

**And I, know you'll never understand me**

**No matter how hard we try**

**And I, know I'll never understand you**

**And your mechanical love**

_**In This Moment- Mechanical Love**_

* * *

"With the Bifrost now rebuilt, Thor, you can travel across the realms and work to restore peace." Odin's eyes were upon his son who stood before him.

"Yes father." Thor's voice was strong.

Sigrun's eyes felt heavy, threatening to unleash a torrent of tears.

How can they send Thor off right away? Didn't they know she needed him?

"Can't they fix themselves?" She mumbled, and then glanced around, feeling grateful that no one had heard her.

"Well then," Odin stood slowly, "Before we send these great warriors off into battle, let's feast in their honor, and perhaps, an early celebration of their victories!" The room erupted into cheers; Sigrun hoped her effort at a smile showed on her face. Although, she was sure it looked like a painful grimace.

The crowd flowed into the feast hall, the noise of chatter following them until the sound of doors closing was the last echo in the air. Sigrun's shoulders slumped, but she was happy to finally be alone.

Or, she thought she was alone.

"You shouldn't be so defeated." Her father's voice came from behind her.

"I hope he will be back quickly." She meant it. Turning her head to see where her parents stood, looking at her worriedly.

"He will have a long road ahead of him cleaning up Loki's mess." Odin shook his head, Frigga stiffened at the mention of the L-Word (as Thor had jokingly put it at one time).

Sigrun chose to say nothing. Odin shifted uncomfortably as the tension mounted. Something was coming. She could feel it.

"Your mother and I were thinking, that it's time we started thinking about plans for you."

"Oh?" Her eyes narrowed as she glared from her father to her mother, who turned to her husband.

"I told you it was too soon." She scolded.

"It is not. We knew from the beginning that she and Loki," Sigrun bristled at the L-word, "Would not have a future together, his actions only confirmed that."

"You mean landing him in the dungeons for the next few thousand years?" She interrupted.

"He needed to be held accountable. If he had any consideration for you at all he would not be there."

Ouch, there it was.

"So we would just be having a slightly different conversation then? One where, you would not give your consent and we would be separated?"

"He was never what we wanted for you."

"It's incredible, that you believe you did everything right by him and that he needs to be held accountable and then you tell me this. And you wonder why things happened as they did!" Sigrun's voice rising in octaves with each word.

"Sigrun…" Frigga warned.

"No! I will be the first to admit that what Loki did was wrong and inexcusable, that spending the rest of his time in the dungeons is less than what he deserves. But, the fact that he," she pointed a finger at Odin, "dangled all these things in front of him with always the intention of pulling them away as soon as he had a hold of them!"

"Enough!" Odin bellowed.

Sigrun opened her mouth to argue again, but thought better of it. The air was thick with tension.

Odin breathed heavily in and out his nose, his eyes bulging slightly.

"Sigrun, we only want what is best for you. If, it had come to it we would not have separated you." Frigga looked at her husband. "But, things have changed and this is where we are now."

She knew in her gut what was coming.

"There are plenty of strong warriors what would make a fine match for you." Frigga said gently.

"No."

"Sigrun, be reasonable. You can't be in mourning for the rest of your life."

"No."

"Then the decision will be made for you." Odin was firm.

"At least think about it." Frigga urged.

"I am hungry." Sigrun lied, turned on her heel and stormed from the hall.

* * *

The noise from the feast hit her like a stone wall as she sat down at her seat at the high table. She pulled a piece of meat onto her plate and spooned some vegetables next to it. She didn't want any of it, and simply moved it around with her fork bitterly.

"Not joining in the festivities?" Thor threw himself into the seat next to her.

"Not exactly feeling "festive"" she tore a piece of meat off the bone and tossed it into her mouth, it was tasteless.

"They have a point you know."

"Oh, so you knew I was going to be cornered?" She glared.

"Hey," he held his hands up, " It's not wrong to agree with them. And it's not fair for you to be the one left staggering about."

Sigrun squeezed her eyes shut, and shook her head. She opened them and glared down at the peas on her plate. Maybe, maybe they had a point. If Loki had thought about her for a second he would be sitting next to her, planning what would be the best trick to send feast goers screaming. But here she was, sitting pathetically glaring at a vegetable that had done nothing to her, while Loki sat in solitude.

"They want me to do it now, like they expect me to just forget him." She murmured.

"It wouldn't hurt to get your mind out there. At least show them you took it to heart, maybe if they see your are trying they will let it go for now."

Sigrun nodded.

"What am I going to do while you are gone?" She wondered aloud, not sure of who she meant.

"You will be fine, besides I am the great and mighty Thor after all. I should be gone only an hour or two." He said playfully.

Sigrun cracked a smile.

"Yeah, sure." She giggled.

Thor let out a loud laugh that caused the person sitting next to him to jump, and reached an arm around Sigrun.

"See, now that's the little sister I know and love." He squeezed her tightly.

* * *

Hours later Sigrun lay in her bed unable to sleep. A mixture of nervousness for Thor departing in the morning, and her parents words left her tossing and turning.

How could she think about moving on? It wasn't like Loki was dead. He was just…

Locked in a dungeon for the rest of his life?

So as good as dead.

She couldn't even visit him.

Frustrated she got out of bed and went to sit at her desk. Piles of books cluttered the work surface.

Eyeing the cover of the book she had taken from his room ages ago, when she had believed him to be dead, a thought jumped around her head.

She couldn't visit, but what if they would allow her to take him things. Picking up the book, she turned it over in her hand and touched the marker hanging out showing where it had last been read.

Maybe she could bring it and a few others to the cells. The worst that would happen is they would laugh and turn her away.

Firm in her decision she gathered The Odyssey (so he could finish it), a few other books on Midgarden mythology and a couple Asgardian favorites into a book sack. She threw on a cover over her sleeping clothes and made for the dungeons.

* * *

Sigrun trembled as she took her steps down to the entrance of the dungeons Two guards stood at its entrance. She swallowed hard as she got closer and froze when they crossed spears and stood their ground.

"I am sorry my lady, but you cannot not pass." The one guard spoke up.

"I…I know." She stammered, "I was thinking…hoping you would be able to give this to one of the prisoners." She held the heavy bag out to them.

The guards exchanged glances.

"We have orders from the King, I am sorry." The guard looked it.

"She can put them with my things can she not?" Frigga's voice came from behind her.

"My queen, we shouldn't even be letting you get things by."

"Oh, I know, but you can put her items with mine, and I will handle KingOdin." Frigga said sweetly. The pair nodded in agreement and took the bags from each Frigga and Sigrun and watched them as they turned to leave.

* * *

"What did you bring him?" Frigga asked breaking the silence.

"Books, some of our favorites and one he wasn't able to finish." Sigrun guessed she wasn't in trouble.

Her mother smiled, "Well I guess he will have a lot of reading to do, as I brought him some as well."

"I wish I could see him. See how he is."

"Why can't you?"

What did she mean, "Why can't you?"?

"Because he is forbidden, and so are we." Sigrun replyed, trying not to sound sarcastic.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we don't have other tricks up our sleeves." Frigga said slyly, and left a stunned Sigrun to ponder what she meant.

* * *

**I see y'all reading my chapters, what about a few reviews to keep a girl going? Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**All I have is one last chance**

**I won't turn my back on you**

**Take my hand, drag me down**

**If you fall then I will too**

**And I can't save what's left of you**

_**Breaking Benjamin- Without You**_

* * *

Sigrun couldn't believe how stupid she had been.

Of course, she could see Loki.

Of course she could.

Had she not used her magic to find Loki on Midgard? Why not use it to visit him in the dungeons?

As suddenly as her heart rose with the possibility, it sunk like a stone. What if the guards saw her? They would surely go straight to Odin, and then there would be trouble. Biting her lip she thought about what her father would do if he found out, short of putting up wards around Loki's cell she could handle it.

Deciding it was worth the risk she marched directly to her chambers, closed the door behind her, closed her eyes, and began to focus.

* * *

She opened her eyes and found herself in a sparsely decorated room; a simple bed was against the wall opposite, along with a spindly legged desk (already precariously piled high with books and papers) and chair. Sigrun briefly wondered how Frigga had gotten all of these things to the cell when the flutter of a page to her right made her turn. Her eyes found Loki sitting cross-legged on the floor; book in hand, with the rest of the books she had brought spilling out of the sack on the floor beside him.

"Hi." She said meekly. Then immediately cursed herself, "Hi?" Really?

"I was wondering when you would remember." His eyes didn't move from the text.

"It did take longer than it should have." She admitted sheepishly.

A snort of laughter (was it laughter?) was the only reply she got as an awkward silence settled over them. With each flutter of a page she grew increasingly uneasy.

Finally, he snapped his book shut and placed it on the pile to his right.

"You aren't happy I am here?" She finally broke the silence.

"Of course I am."

"Then what?"

"I don't see the point. If I reach out and try to touch you…you will disappear." He shook his head sadly, "It's just hard is all. Of course, I'm happy."

"I wanted to see you."

"It's a waste of time, Sigrun." He sighed, moving in a quick fluid motion he stood, stretching a little.

"I don't see how it's a waste of time." She said stubbornly.

"It's a waste of your time; you should be living your life."

"What?"

"Sigrun, I am never going to get out of here as long as Odin and Thor have their way. I am locked up, for the next couple thousand years, there is no reason why you should be too."

"That's very noble of you." She scoffed.

"It's the truth."

Sigrun chewed on her lip, debating if she should tell him he wasn't the only one with this brilliant idea. She could see where her parents and Thor were coming from, but this was ridiculous.

"And what about us?"

"You know very well there hasn't been an "us" in a long time."

"And thanks to you for that!" Sigrun felt her temper soaring. "You never even thought about me for a moment when you got Thor banished and brought the Frost Giants here, and even less when you tried to take Midgard as your own. I don't appreciate everyone making my decisions for me! You know Odin and Frigga want me to move along too? They even offered to find me a suitor if I can't find someone myself." She thought her chest was going to explode as her rage roared inside her.

"Are you looking?" Loki asked. The words seemed painful.

"No, but maybe I should!"

"Don't…please." Loki crossed over to where she stood, and stopped short just before wrapping her arms around her, remembering she wasn't really there.

She could have sworn she felt his breath on her skin, she would have if they were actually together.

"Why not? Everyone else seems to think it's a good idea, you seem to think it's a good idea."

"You never did anything to deserve what you are going through, I thought if you found something…someone you would be okay."

"And how would I be okay?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "I just hoped you would be."

"I just miss you." She felt herself deflating.

"And I miss you."

"I don't know what to do. It was easier when I thought you were dead, I'm not sure how to go on about my life when you are right here." Sigrun wanted to press herself against his body, to have some kind of comfort that she hadn't had in what seemed like forever.

"I've seen you work out worse situations." He had a sad smile on his face.

_You mean when I went against you on Earth_, she thought, but she was too exhausted to argue anymore.

"Its getting late." Loki observed.

"I love you." She felt herself pulling away.

"And I love you too beautiful one." His voice was distant, and Loki began to fade.

* * *

"Of course, I don't have to tell you not to do anything stupid." Sigrun walked beside Thor and Company to the Bifrost. It was early, but it was time for them to head off for their first, in a long line of battles to restore what Loki had thrown into chaos.

Thor gave a hearty laugh, "You have nothing to worry about."

"Of course she doesn't! Not with us to do the heavy work!" Volstag called from behind them.

"His ego usually gets in the way anyway." Sif joked beside him.

A great number of Asgard's warriors marched behind them while their families lined the streets to send them off. The air was thick with excitement, even though many of them wouldn't return.

"I hope you are worrying about me too, Sigrun." Fandral's voice came from her left. She cast him a sidelong glance.

"What about whats-her-name... Freya? Won't see be up all hours just wondering where you are?" Sigrun's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh, I've decided to be looking for someone with more substance."

"Oh, please don't tell me you are thinking of settling down? I don't think the women of Asgard could handle it." She rolled her eyes so hard it made her head hurt.

"That maybe," Fandral agreed, somehow missing the sarcasm, "But that doesn't change the fact that I am looking for something more."

There was something in the way he looked at her that made her uneasy. Fandral was always a playboy, always bouncing from one bed to the next. The idea of him settling down was laughable.

"Sure, whatever you say." As she watched him fall back to walk beside Volstag.

"You should be nicer to him, he isn't a bad man." Thor glanced down at Sigrun.

"I'm sure he will get over it."

The warriors filed into the Bifrost observatory, Sigrun knew she had to leave but she felt panicked with Thor leaving.

"Ill come back if I can, to visit you know." He said pulling her into a bear-like hug.

"I know." She felt her eyes stinging and her throat constricting. How can everyone be leaving her?

Thor released her and Sigrun reluctantly stepped back and made her way back onto the bridge. Fandral caught her eye and bowed deeply. Sigrun hastily bowed back and ran out into the chilly morning air, just before Heimdal opened the Bifrost and the crowd inside vanished.

* * *

"Your brother will be back in no time. He is a skilled warrior, he will make short work of the task ahead." Odin called down the table where Sigrun was pushing her food around her plate. The sight of it made her sick.

She grunted a reply.

"I saw you speaking to Fandral in the procession." He continued, and Sigrun saw Frigga shoot him a glare that went unnoticed. "He is one of the best and would make a fine match for you."

"May I be excused?" Sigrun pushed her uneaten food away from her.

"Yes, of course." Her mother continued to glare at Odin. Sigrun stood and walked to the doorway

"If I were you, I would give this more consideration Sigrun." Her father's warning followed her to the door.

She stopped short and considered telling her exactly what she thought of Fandral and this whole situation but thought better of it, and stormed from the feast hall.


	4. Chapter 4

_**I hope everyone had a good holiday! Here is a pretty long chapter that I have been working on for a bit. How about some reviews to keep a girl going? Thanks for reading!**_

* * *

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

**I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

**Anywhere, I would've followed you**

**Say something, I'm giving up on you**

_**A Great Big World- "Say Something"**_

* * *

Weeks had passed and Loki was growing more and more distant. Their meetings would end with sweet words; now Sigrun was lucky to get a glance and a grunt in her general direction.

She couldn't blame him though, not really. She would be angry and bitter too, being locked in a small cell with only that continued existence in your future. So, despite his attitude she continued to be bright and bubbly.

"I got some new books for us to read." Sigrun said brightly one morning, speaking to Loki's back. "The librarian has been able to get to Midgard now to bring in a fresh supply, and I thought these looked pretty interesting." She gestured to the sack of books that had been tossed roughly on his bed. A few had spilled onto the floor and she saw the cover of the first book in the series; a boy on a broom trying to catch a ball with wings.

Sigrun chuckled to herself, the imaginations those Midgardians have.

"What did you think of them, Loki?" She asked knowing full well he hadn't even glanced at them.

"Loki?"

No reply. She felt her temper rising.

Movement from the other side of the glass caught her attention. Guards were filing through the hallway, and following closely behind were several prisoners.

"I see Thor has sent me some few friends." Loki's voice startled her, "How very thoughtful, you will have to thank him for me." He said bitterly, finally turning to face her for the first time this visit.

Sigrun chewed on her tongue, fighting the urge to retort with a snappy comment.

"How do you handle it?" He asked casting her a sidelong glance.

"Handle what?"

"The annoyance of Thor and Odin asking after me day and night. It must get very tiresome after a while." He sauntered over to the books on the bed and picked one up, sneered at the cover, and tossed it back down.

"Are you trying to pick a fight?" Sigrun asked stiffly. "They did what they needed to do."

"Ah yes, and their minds are clear then."

"Loki…"

"You should go; it seems I have to make some introductions." He turned back to watch the procession continue into the dungeons.

"Fine." Sigrun snapped, quickly her magic dropped and she found herself relieved to be back in her chambers.

* * *

"Thor! Are you finally finished?" Sigrun crashed into her brother squeezing him tightly and squealed when he picked her up and swung her around as though she weighed nothing.

"Yes! Finally!"He said, setting her down onto solid ground.

"This took a lot longer than your couple hours huh?" She joked.

"Sigrun! Why don't I get that kind of greeting?" Fandral's voice carried over to her from across the hall.

Sigrun's heart leaped in spite of herself. After cornering her during a few visits to rest between battles, he was beginning to grow on her; even if she didn't want to admit it.

She turned to see him walk over to her.

"I see you've made it unscathed." She said, looking him up and down.

"Please, this has been child's play; even Thor had an easy time of it." He laughed the sound made Sigrun's stomach tremble; then a grunt of pain when Thor punched him in the arm.

Volstagg came and threw an arm around both of his friends. "Come, let's get ready for the feast tonight, I haven't had a decent bite of food in months."

"Like you need to eat anymore." Fandral joked. And Sigrun couldn't help but laugh herself as Volstagg staggered backward in mock pain.

"Ouch." He lamented.

The group began to disperse.

"I'll see you at the feast tonight?" Fandral asked.

"I don't think Mother and Father would let me miss it." Sigrun thought about skipping the whole event but a part of her actually did want to go.

"Until then." Fandral bowed, took Sigrun's hand and kissed it. Causing warmth to spread throughout her body, and a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

"You and Fandral seem to be getting along." Thor observed, hours later. Sigrun was putting the finishing touches on her hair for the feast. She heard the creak of protest from her bed when Thor sat down on it.

She had a swift feeling of déjà vu.

"He isn't so bad I guess." Glancing at his reflection in the mirror.

"So…I guess…that means you are taking what Mother and Father said to heart then?" He asked slowly.

She dropped her arms to her sides. "I'm not sure."

"I know you visit him…I don't even know why you do. I know mother does as well." Thor shook his head. "He's not that Loki anymore."

"I know that."

"Then what?"

"It's just hard. I don't know why I'm holding on so hard. He hardly even speaks to me anymore, and when he does he is just looking for a fight." Turing to look at her brother, she crossed her arms and leaned back against the vanity.

"Fandral would be good for you."

"He's been around you know." She wrinkled her nose.

"That's true," he agreed laughing lightly, "but he is a good man, and he is truly looking to settle."

"I think I do like him." Admitting it out loud made her heart drop slightly.

Thor motioned for Sigrun to sit next to him.

"You know, you weren't the only one Father cornered." He said as she settled next to him.

"Oh?"

"He thinks I should forget about Jane, and focus on what is here in front of me."

"You mean Sif?"

Thor nodded, "She is a great warrior and a trusted friend, but…"

"She is not Jane."

"No. No she's not."

Thor looked down at his hands, and Sigrun could feel the waves of sadness rolling off of him. Studying his face she saw soft lines beginning to form. He was too young for those kinds of lines.

"Your hair is getting long." She observed softly, reaching to touch the gold strands.

His wide smile made the lines more pronounced.

"You know if anyone told me we'd be spending this much time together I'd think they were crazy." She said brightly.

"We've grown up a lot."

Sigrun nodded, "It's the only good thing to come from any of this."

* * *

The feast hall was full of the clatter of cutlery, and the chatter of a hundred voices. More sounds of celebration rose from the city below; Asgard was rejoicing.

Even Sigrun had to admit she was having a good time. Food had become appealing again, and she was enjoying an exquisite berry cake with a thick frosting.

"And then Thor, and I swear it, threw his hammer, it smacked their greatest warrior right upside the head, the thing just disintegrated!" Volstagg was telling a rousing war story to her right.

"Yes, yes, and the whole army just dropped their weapons and surrendered. Really, Thor has done more impressive things." Sif interrupted. Their audience laughed and clapped.

Sigrun laughed as Volstagg started to tell another story he was sure no one had heard before when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and warm breath on her neck.

"Will you take a walk with me?" Fandral whispered in her ear.

A shiver traveled up her spine, and she was conscious of several pair of eyes on her.

Nodding slowly, she pushed her chair back and stood.

The cool night air felt refreshing after being in a room with so many warm bodies, and a quiet of the palace gardens was calming.

Or it would have been if Sigrun's heart wasn't beating like a trapped animal.

Fandral held his arm out to her, and she laced hers through the crook of his elbow.

"It's beautiful out here."Fandral said nervously.

"Yeah, this is one of my favorite places." She was amused that he was nervous, considering his history, "I used to walk out here all the time with…." She trailed off and realizing she probably shouldn't bring up Loki.

"Right."

They walked in awkward silence for a bit, the scent from the flowers and herbs was making Sigrun sleepy.

"Okay, so I might as well get this out there." Fandral finally broke the silence; he led her to a bench where they sat.

"I think we've been getting along pretty well lately." He turned toward her, his voice still sounding nervous.

"I think so." Sigrun realized she was getting just as nervous.

"I was wondering where this is going." The words came out in a rush.

_Where was what going?_

"I'm not sure…."

"Look, Sigrun, I like you a lot, and I know this is the last thing you expected. I just need to know what you are thinking."

Her mind raced. He was right; this was the last thing she had ever expected. This is not where she expected her life to go. With her best friend and soul mate locked in the dungeons for the next couple thousand years for trying to enslave an entire realm. She never expected to be with anyone else.

Nope. This is not what she expected.

But Fandral was okay, she thought. He made her laugh and was kind enough, but she didn't think he would understand her like Loki did, and she wondered if they could ever share a long deep conversation. She did like him, but would it go anywhere else?

"Sigrun?"

Realizing she had been focused on a vibrant blue flower in the distance, Fandral brought her back to the present.

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Well?"

"I…I do like you, a bit actually. But you are right; this isn't what I ever expected."

"This isn't going to happen overnight, I know that, what you had with….you know…was something incredible, although…" He seemed on the cusp of a rant but thought better of it, "I would be honored if you gave me a chance."

Light from the surrounding windows gleamed off Fandral's blonde hair, and his handsome face looked hopeful.

"It might take a bit." She warned.

"Worth it."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that."

"I would."

Sigrun laughed and shook her head.

"I'd hate to be a disappointment."

"You couldn't ever be a disappointment." His voice was very serious, Sigrun became hyper aware of how close Fandrals face was to hers.

She could feel his warm breath on her face.

Dangerously close.

"There you two are!" Thor's voice rang through the garden, and Fandral immediately pulled back much to Sigruns relief, who jumped up.

"We are going to the tavern; would you two like to join us?" Thor gestured to the entourage behind him.

"I'll go! Sigrun?" Fandral turned to Sigrun, who was backing up slowly.

"No, I have something I have to do."

"Sigrun, come on, it can wait til morning." Thor looked at her knowingly.

"No. It can't."

Shaking his head, Thor turned and walked back up the path.

"May I see you in the morning?" Fandral asked hopefully.

"I'm sure you won't be getting around until a while after morning."

He laughed, "You are right."

"But, yes. Why not?"

Fandral grasped her hand and kissed it.

"Til tomorrow then."

* * *

Sigrun was walking to her chambers when she heard sniffling coming from a room to her right. Peeking inside she saw her mother.

She slipped inside the door.

"What's wrong?" She asked, and Frigga swung around. Her eyes red and cheeks tear stained; she offered Sigrun a watery smile.

"Oh nothing, nothing."

"Tell me."

Her smile faltered.

"I just thought I would visit him."

"Loki?"

She nodded "He said I wasn't his mother." Frigga said sadly.

"He what?!" Sigrun felt her stomach clench angrily.

Shaking her head, "He is just angry."

"That is no excuse. You're the only mother he has."

"I don't think he really meant it."

"Whether he meant it or not, he is an idiot. And I am going to tell him so." Sigrun started to back out of the room.

"I wouldn't visit him tonight," Frigga's warning made Sigrun pause at the door, "he is in rare form."

Sigrun didn't listen.

* * *

"Where exactly do you get off telling Frigga she isn't your mother?" Sigrun demanded once she had taken shape in Loki's cell.

"She's not." His reply was simple; he didn't even turn his head to look at her as he laid lazily on the bed.

"She's the only mother you've got, and one of the only ones on your side."

Laughter, "Please, Sigrun, no one is on my side."

"Excuse you?"

"Oh come on, don't even pretend that you are on my side. That may help you sleep at night but it certainly doesn't help me any."

Sigrun let out a burst of laughter, "Oh! And there you were saying you would never hold it against me."

"How was I not going to hold it against you?" He demanded, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and stood. "You were against me from the beginning, siding with Thor, with Odin, with everyone!"

"You were in the wrong Loki."

"I was not!" He screeched, "I deserved the throne, I deserved to rule that pathetic excuse of a realm, and you took it all away from me. No better than the rest of them!"

Sigrun felt as though she had been slapped.

"I did what I had to do." She said meekly.

"What you had to do, was stand with me, if you loved me as much as you claimed. Well, here it is Sigrun, you betrayed me, and here I sit."

"That isn't my fault."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He spat

"I don't need to be here you know."

"Then by all means go, and for the love of everything stop visiting, because believe me you aren't doing me any favors."

"You-"

"God Sigrun, take a hint! I don't want you here, nor do I need you here. Do you really think I enjoy seeing you? It's like a slap in the face every time."

Tears threatened to spill, but she refused to give him the satisfaction.

"Fandral has been wanting to get together, maybe I should take him up on that." She hoped to see Loki flinch, but his eyes were betrayed nothing.

"Please do."

"You don't mean that."

"The hell I don't."

"Loki-"

"How could I ever care about what you do or who you do it with? God, every second I am in here I actively _hate_," he snarled the word, "you. You did this to me. Now, get OUT!"

Sigrun watched as Loki swung his arm out to hit at her projection, and felt it connect as though she had actually been stuck. She stood in her room in shock.

Which soon turned into determination.

* * *

Fine.

If this is how he wanted to play it, fine.

Sigrun had no idea how she got to the tavern, but her feet seemed to know the way. The pungent smell of ale assaulted her senses as she walked through the door. Her eyes searched the crowd.

"Sigrun! You decided to come after all!" Thor thundered over the noise, she found where he stood smiling, arms outstretched; right next to who she was looking for.

"I didn't think you'd come down." Fandral said when she had reached his side.

"Can you come with me?"

He seemed surprised, "Um…sure where?"

"I don't care."

"My house isn't too far from here."

"Fine." She grabbed his arm and pulled him from the smell and the noise into the early morning air.

"In a hurry?" Taking the lead, Fandral led her down a small lane and stopped in front of a small, but modest stone home.

"Sigrun?"

"Can we go inside?"

Unlocking the door wordlessly, he led her inside. Once the door clicked closed, Sigrun, her heart beating so loud she could have sworn all of Asgard could feel the vibrations, turned and faced Fandral.

_This is how he wanted to play it._

Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips on his. Without missing a beat he kissed her back, becoming frenzied. Sigrun froze for a brief second when a strange tongue invaded her mouth.

A moan escaped Fandral's mouth as he picked Sigrun up and carried her to his bedroom.

He slipped her dress off with expert ease; goose bumps sprang up on her skin while she fumbled with buttons, and finally just tugged the shirt over his head. It vaguely registered how warm his skin was as he pressed his body against hers, pushing her onto the bed.

"Are you sure about this?" Fandral hovered above her.

Sigrun answered by covering his mouth with hers and hooked her legs around his hips pulling him down.

Fandral set to work on her body, covering all the places Loki had savored.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to Badwolfbabe for the amazing reviews (which give me strength), and the endless texts she gets from me while I think out loud. You should all go read her stuff, 10/10 would recommend. Reviews, please?**

* * *

**I am my mother's only one**

**It's enough**

**I wear my garment so it shows**

**Now you know**

**Only love is all maroon**

**Gluey feathers on a flume**

**Sky is womb and she's the moon**

**I am my mother on the wall**

**With us all**

**I move in water, shore to shore**

**Nothing's more**

_**Bon Iver - Flume**_

* * *

Sigrun was sweltering underneath the covers and thought that she couldn't have felt worse. She remembered the times when Loki would hold her, his cool skin taking the edge off the heat they had built up, drawing small circles on her back, while the spot between her legs ached sweetly.

Now it ached accusingly, and Fandral was flipped over onto his stomach snoring loudly; it set her teeth on edge.

She needed to get out of there… now. Sliding out from the covers she bent and grabbed her dress which lay crumpled on the floor and tip toed to the door while slipping it over her head. And without glancing back at the sleeping man in the bed she fled to the morning air.

Her organs felt like they had been lined with lead, as her feet carried her to some destination she hadn't yet thought of. All she could think about was how quickly she had crawled into another man's bed.

What a mess.

It hadn't been bad, she admitted reluctantly. Fandral was considerate to her…needs. But it had lacked substance and the emotion of a real connection. And that was hard to get around.

_But you haven't even given him a chance. _A small voice in her head piped up.

It was true she did like him, but she always had her guard up around him, and tried not to let it go too far, which, she chuckled, it already had. The guilt began gnawing at her insides again but it wasn't guilt for Loki's sake this time. She had led Fandral on, and what he could possibly have thought would have come from their tumble between the sheets Sigrun was sure would never happen. She was sure his pride would be hurt, because out of the many women he had taken to bed, she would have bet Loki's freedom that she was the only one to slither out of bed at daybreak. He would move on, she convinced herself, find another doe eyed blonde and have tiny little doe eyed blonde children.

Another emotion began to gnaw lightly.

"Sigrun? What are you doing up this early?" Odin was sitting on a bench in the far back corner of the palace garden, where the dull Midgardian flowers bloomed. Frigga never cared for them much, but Odin had insisted.

Pulling herself from her thoughts, Sigrun realized she had wondered mindlessly into the gardens and was a bit weary of her adopted father.

"Couldn't sleep." She replied stiffly.

Odin patted the spot next to him, hesitating for a moment she sat down next to him, the silence was a little uneasy.

"Your mother always loved these flowers." He said.

Sigrun laughed a bit louder than she should have, "Frigga always hated them; she never took us back here if she could avoid it."

"I know Frigga didn't like them, I meant your mother."

Sigrun seized up, they had never talked about her real parents. When she was younger she had asked often but neither Frigga nor Odin acknowledged her questions.

"She…She liked Midgardian flowers?" She eyed the red petals on the closest flower.

"Oh yes," Reaching out a hand Odin touched a flower attached to a larger shrub with more gentleness she never thought his big hands had. "This one especially, _Lysimachia minoricensi_, was her favorite, although a bit far from her home, she had seen it on one of her travels. It's not found in the wild anymore." He seemed sad.

"You mean when she visited Earth like we do?"

"No…"

"What then?"

"Your mother was beautiful; I can't remember what the earth year was when I visited. I think it was a long time, to them anyway, after the frost giants attacked. I had gone back to see how they had been thriving. And they had! The village had been destroyed and only a few of the Midgardian's had survived, but when I returned the village had grown enormously, and people beyond count. But I saw her. How foolish was a king of Asgard to have noticed a common mortal?"

Sigrun felt her mouth hanging open. She was Odin's child, not adopted at all.

Odin took a deep breath and continued.

"Oh did I notice. It was like a fire had grown inside of my chest. It was fierce. I _needed_ her. I stayed away from Asgard for a long while; I had no desire to go back. I felt intensely guilty. Frigga was here raising Thor and by then Loki and I had left her to run a realm. She is a great queen," Odin shook his head, "I took her for granted, I know that now, but at the time I did not care. I had her, my Runa, and I did not care."

"What happened to her?" If Sigrun was half Midgardan, why was she brought to Asgard?

"When she became pregnant with you she was overjoyed. I however, was afraid, this was not a common match, I was not sure how much mortal and how much Asgardan you would be. I was selfish and I was more afraid for your mother. When she was in labor with you I almost brought her back here for the healers to help her, but again I was afraid, and selfish. It was a difficult birth, but she was able to see you…before." His voice was shaking and he caressed the back of Sigrun's head softly.

"What then?"

"As I had told you before, I was selfish; when your mother was gone I had refused to see you again for a while. I blamed you, and I blamed myself for getting carried away. Before I left earth I did decide to see you. And you were just as beautiful as she was, I remember her tumbling curtain of brown hair, and you had a thick covering on your head, I couldn't leave you there. But as I had said I didn't know how much mortal or Asgardian you had in you so again there was a risk. I brought you back here and Frigga raised you. She knew of course, but she never said, and she raised you as her own, right along with Thor and Loki, she loved you as if you came from her."

Sigrun remembered being introduced to Thor and Loki when she was small. She remembered Loki peering out from behind Frigga.

"But why-"

"It was then apparent you had more of your father in you than your mother, we kept you apart from them for your own safety."

A stretch of silence settled over them.

"Is that why you don't want Thor and Jane to be together?"

"Thor is a great man and will be a great king, but a hurt like that would break him." Odin said sadly.

"And why you want me to move on as well? Even if he wasn't locked up for the rest of his life?"

"You love just as deeply, as fiercely, and as infinitely as your mother did. And I know because of that it was wrong to push you, but a love like that with Loki will destroy you as well. That is why I am trying to push you to find someone safe, so you will be protected from it."

Sigrun sat in silence. Odin didn't seem inclined to say anymore.

Frigga knew she was Odin's and had raised her anyway, had loved her anyway. She stood up quickly and walked back to the palace without looking at her father.

* * *

She found Frigga on one of the palace balconies, overlooking the city, and her heart swelled. Walking quickly to her, she hugged her hard, which to Sigrun, wasn't hard enough.

Frigga was taken by surprise, laughed and hugged her back. "What is this all about?"

"I love you mother." Sigrun said thickly.

They stood embraced for a moment, and then Frigga held her at arm's length and studied her face with knowing eyes, however shiny at the moment, and pulled her in for another hard hug.

"And I love you too."

* * *

Fandral leaned against the door frame in Sigrun's room.

"You know I should be offended." He said lightly, "That is one thing that has never happened to me."

Sigrun laughed, she had called it.

"I am sorry." She apologized.

"Please, you don't have to. I knew right off that something wasn't right, but I was...uh...excited to say the least."

"If only I wasn't so obvious."

"So what now?"

Her talk with Odin had made her more receptive of the idea. Fandral would love her deeply, she knew that, but if loving him as she had loved Loki, was that even possible?

Maybe she could have something just as good with him.

It was worth a shot.

"Maybe going a bit slower would be good."

"So, it's a yes?"

Sigrun took a deep breath, "Yes."

"Hoorah!" He yelled, jumping with a fist in the air. Sigrun had to laugh at how happy he was.

Calming down slightly, his face became serious, "Shall we shake on it?" Holding out his hand.

"Shake on it?"

"Slow remember?"

The steps she took over to where he stood seemed lighter than before, and a warm tingle spread from where she grasped his hand. And surprised herself when she stood on tip toe and pressed her lips on the warm ones she would be getting to know.

"_Maybe this won't be so bad after all." _She thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again to badwolfbabe for the reviews and support. Again go read her stuff, its pretty freaking awesome!**

* * *

**This is it, I'm falling**

**My wings need to grow**

**I lose my hold**

**I will let go**

**If I, if I take this, this leap**

**Will I be broken?**

**I'm dying to know**

**This is it, I've shaken**

**My body's aching**

**I lose my hold**

**I will let go**

_**Atreyu - Lose It Lyrics**_

* * *

"So this is where you spend all your time?" Fandral asked, staring at the vast library. Thick, leather bound volumes lined each shelf; the air smelled of age and a hint of mildew.

"It's fun." Sigrun replied simply. Fandral gave her a look that plainly said he would rather be disemboweled than have to spend another second in here, but she had to give him credit where it was due, he was determined.

He picked up a thin, ragged looking book and flipped hurriedly through the pages. Cringing at the manhandling of the text she skimmed the shelves looking for something to catch her eye. Passing a dark passage to her right, she turned quickly, and felt her stomach clench at the strong smell of mold coming from the ancient texts, and something else she couldn't put her finger on made her heart pound. The leather was peeling badly and words had faded from their covers, and some of them, Loki had told her, were bound in actual human flesh. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. When she reached the end of the row of shelves, she pressed her forehead against the cool stone wall, bracing herself when she realized exactly where she was.

* * *

"_That's disgusting." Sigrun wrinkled her nose at the book she held in her hands, and quickly held it out to Loki to take, as though it was a poisonous snake._

"_That's Midgardians for you." He laughed taking it and placing it back to its space._

"_I hope next time you will warn me before I handle anymore of those." She felt slightly sick. "Why would they even do something like that?"_

"_Some people, when they died, would request to have a book made out of them for family, but most of these books came from criminals on Earth."_

"_Urgh, if you die, please, refrain from leaving me a book like that." _

"_I'll keep that in mind."_

_They were quiet for a bit while they skimmed the shelves. Her eye caught a tiny cloth bound book with beautiful embroidery on the cover. She was so engrossed in tracing the colorful threads with her fingers she didn't notice Loki moving behind her, until she felt his lips at her neck and his hands traveling over her body._

"_You know, someone could come down here." Sigrun warned._

"_I doubt it." _

_Her body trembled, and her breathing became heavy as his hands traveled downward and his kisses reached her jaw line._

"_You can doubt it, but you will have some explaining to do." _

_Turning her body so she could reach his kisses with her own, he pressed her against the wall, as his hands reached under her dress._

"_I can always stop if you want." He said breathlessly, smiling because he already knew the answer. And that answer came as a soft moan when his fingers brushed her bare thigh._

_He chuckled, and knelt down._

"_Of course you will have the sense to pretend like you dropped something and I am just picking it up for you." He said with a smirk before he disappeared under her skirts._

* * *

"Whats so interesting down here?" Fandral's voice brought her back to reality, causing Sigrun to jump and hope he couldn't see her face burning.

"Oh, these," She waved a hand at the morbid books, "They are made from human skin, did you know that?"

Fandral shook his head.

"You can talk to me about him, you know."

"Why?" She hightly doubted he wanted to hear about how much she loved someone else, and that he would want to hear about why this particular spot had made her so flustered.

"Because, if I am going to have the slightest chance at making you happy I need to understand everything. I know, I don't have a chance at you feeling the same way about me," Sigrun opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand, "No, it's true. I know that, I would be stupid not too. But I am at least going to try."

"You are doing a good job." She smiled at him, meaning every word. It wasn't going to be easy, but as long as he was up to the challenge she would give it a shot.

"How about a walk outside?" Frandral offered a warm hand.

"I think that is a good idea." Sigrun grasped his hand and followed him from the memories of the library.

* * *

"Oh! Thor is back!" Sigrun spotted Thor's large form standing by the far balcony as they left the library, but he was not alone. "Who is that?"

"I have no idea." Fandral found the couple, now with their hands pressed together.

Still holding on to Fandrals hand she pulled him as she made her way to where her brother stood.

"Where have you been?" Sigrun demanded.

"Where have you been?" Thor asked. Sigrun snorted and looked at the woman he was with.

"You brought her here? Father is going to explode." She smiled at Jane Foster and offered her bright smile. "Sigrun, Thor's sister." She introduced herself.

"You told your sister too?" Jane asked Thor surprised.

"Father was mad, at first, but things have changed." Thor looked upset, and as he filled Sigrun in on the situation she understood why.

"Gosh, and I thought those stories where scary enough when we were kids. But father thinks the dark elves are gone? Truly? It wouldn't be the first time he was wrong about something."

"He seems to think so."

"He also say's there isn't a way to get it outta me." Jane piped up.

"Father doesn't know every thing." Sigrun and Thor said together.

"Don't let him hear you say that." Frigga's voice announced her arrival.

"Jane, may I introduce my Mother Frigga, Queen of Asgard." After Thor's introduction Jane backed from in shock and bowed quickly to Frigga in greeting.

"Did you know about her?" Fandral whispered in Sigrun's ear.

"He has talked of little else."

"Seems strange doesn't it?"

Whenever Thor had his eyes on Jane he practically glowed with love, pride, and affection. She had seldom seen him this content.

"I don't think it's strange at all." She squeezed his hand.

They all jumped when the siren rang from the dungeons.

"Loki." Thor seemed torn between his duty to go and find the source of the trouble and staying to protect Jane.

"I'll watch her." Frigga assured him. Nodding quickly, Thor disappeared to head to the dungeons.

"You will be careful?" Sigrun was worried, if Loki was making his escape, she was sure Fandral would be on his list.

"Of course. I'll find you when it's over. Shouldn't take long." He kissed the top of her head and followed the throng of guards out of the palace.

"Come Sigrun, I'll need your help as well." Frigga called, already leading Jane away.

* * *

"So this is like astral projection?" Jane asked

"This is exactly like astral projection." Frigga replied fondly.

"It's a bit more difficult than projecting yourself, but Mother is awfully good had conjuring forms of other people." Sigrun was proud.

"Now with any luck, you will be hidden while your form is here! Now, Sigrun will stay with you. And under no circumstances are you to leave your hiding place." Frigga ordered them both.

The sounds of battle were becoming louder, and the palace shook as though something had exploded. Sigrun was sure this was not Loki, and pretty positive this wasn't just a prison break.

"But…" She started.

"No, you will not. Now go."

As Sigrun and Jane turned the corner, Frigga performed the complicated spell and a second Jane appared, not a moment too soon before the doors opened.

Sigrun pressed herself hard against the wall; she thought she would leave an imprint of her body. She was thankful that Frigga was at least armed.

"Who are you?" She heard Frigga ask.

"I am Malekith, and you have something at belongs to me." A voice echoed in the chamber. Sigrun began to tremble.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the fight begin; Frigga seemed okay, until Sigrun saw a large shadow cross the room behind her mother. She had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming when she realized from watching the shadows that her mother had been over powered.

More footsteps.

"You have something that belongs to me child." Malekith must be speaking to the projection. She felt Jane trembling beside her.

"WITCH!" They both jumped, he must have realized Jane wasn't real.

Sigrun couldn't help as she peered around the corner, to see Malekith approach Frigga, who was being held by an enormous creacher. She almost didn't see the glint of metal at her back.

"Where is the aether?"

"I'll never tell you." Frigga was defiant and unbelievably strong.

"I believe you." Malekith replied simply.

It happened in slow motion, the glint of metal disappeared into her mothers back with a gasp of pain. Sigrun was aware of screaming as her mother's body hit the floor and was not aware it was her, until she found herself at her mother's side. And only the briefest of moments before she found herself with a gigantic hand around her throat.

"And what of you little witch?" The creature asked.

Sigrun said nothing. Fingers tightened around her neck.

"You know what I seek, where is it?"

Sigrun just shook her head, tears streamed down her face, her eyes searched for her mother, where she lay, blood pooling beneath her.

For a second Sigrun forgot about the hand that held her still, until the fire spread. Her skin was on fire. She was sure her body was black and charred as the pain spread. Trying to scream was impossible.

"_Fire demons aren't real are they?" Sigrun asked, pulling her covers up to her chin. She wished she could have pulled them up higher but Thor sat on the foot of her bed, and his heavy body wouldn't let the blankets budge another inch, Loki put a comforting arm around her. Frigga sat in a chair next to the three of them and smiled._

"_It's only a story." Loki said reassuringly._

"_And even if it wasn't, Father will take care of them, and when I am older I'd cut them down where they stood!" Thor sprang to his feet and whipped his arms around brandishing an imaginary sword._

"_Settle down now." Frigga said sweetly._

"_But they aren't though, right?" Sigrun asked again, her mother's story ringing fresh in her ears. Fire demons, several feet tall, burning everything they laid a finger on._

"_Even if they are, you are safe here." Frigga stood and hugged her tightly, and called the boys to her. "Come on now, to your rooms." _

_Sigrun was left trembling in her vast bed, and couldn't get to sleep until she was sure not a speck of her skin was exposed by the sea of blankets._

Now, Sigrun was quite sure fire demons did exist.

The fire spread quickly to her chest and creeped up her face. Her ears roared as her blood pumped fiercely, and the smell of cooking flesh filled her senses.

Suddenly the hand was gone, and she lay beside her mother, she struggled to move away from her, Thor's screams barely registered. Sigrun couldn't move, she could barely gasp for breath, the pain was too intense.

"Sigrun, come on now." She felt big hands on her, but they felt far away somehow. "Oh god Sigrun." Thor's voice sounded broken. She wondered what he had done, because the pain was ebbing away now.

She wanted to talk to him, but only a garbled sound escaped from her throat.

Did she really sound like that?

"Thor, Sigrun, is she?" Odin's voice sounded very far away. And she could make out a blurred shape of someone holding something. Maybe holding Frigga?

Now she was rocking back and forth, she felt okay now, if she could only tell Thor that, but still only that awful sound came from her mouth. Even the heat in her skin was disappearing, what had he done?

"It's okay little sister, I'll get you help." Something wet splashed her face. Was he crying?

"Thor, we have to get her to the healers." Fandral's voice came to her senses now. Poor Fandral, they hadn't even had time to talk, and she felt a spasm of fear that now they might not be able to. She wanted to say something to him, but it was useless, what if she couldn't talk anymore?

She felt herself being lifted up, she wondered briefly if the movement should hurt but it didn't. Actually she didn't feel much of anything. She could barely feel herself resting on Thor's arms. That was odd.

She heard Thor keep murmuring her name over and over but the sound was faded, and each time sounded farther and farther away. Sigrun was tired now, so very tired. She wanted to sleep. Sleep sounded good.

"Sigrun?!" She could barely hear him now, she wondered vaguely if she was dying, then thought that wouldn't be so bad and closed her eyes, no longer hearing Thor's screams.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thankyou of course to badwolfbabe for the reviews and constant support that keeps me going.**

* * *

_**This chapter is from Loki's POV, lots of flashbacks here.**_

* * *

**When we danced, so pristine and knee deep in sin**

**Balls deep in hate, I see your face**

**I see your face and it tears me, tears me up**

**My mouth is full of love; my head is held in shame**

**When you kiss me, do you still taste her?**

**Are you thinking of, are you thinking of me?**

**With your lips pressed tightly up against his skin**

**Does your body still scream my name?**

**Does your body still scream my name?**

_**Atreyu - Our Sick Story (Thus Far)**_

* * *

The sound of the fighting died away, and Loki paced his cell, eyes passing over the bodies that littered the floor.

His eyes caught two shapes, their limbs lying at odd angles and smirked at the sight.

"They had it coming." He thought smugly, blood oozed from beneath theirAsgardan armor.

* * *

"_Well, who did you hear it from?" A voice carried down the hall, Loki's eyes bored into the floor, trying to ignore the sound._

"_Frey lives next to Fandral, he saw her leave." A voice answered. Loki stiffened and his stomach churned._

"_Really? Lady Sigrun? How could he be sure?"_

"_Oh he was sure, she didn't quite want to be seen either. Did the walk of shame, she did." The pair were coming closer. Shaking with rage now, he felt bile climbing into his throat, threatening to make an escape._

"_Oh ho! That will be interesting! I don't think Thor will appreciate one of his best men bedding his sister."_

"_Adopted sister." The one corrected._

_Loki stood at the window facing the hall, waiting, fists clenched at the pair made their rounds. When they realized whose cell they had been talking near, they coward, and hurried past._

* * *

Loki wished that creature, whatever it was had let him lose, he would have given anything to have been the one to kill those two, but at least they had gotten what they deserved.

* * *

"_Fandral has been wanting to get together, maybe I should take him up on that." She stared daggers at him, waiting to call his bluff but she wouldn't get it that easy._

"_Please do." He sneered, every cell in his body threatening to betray his true feelings._

"_You don't mean that."_

"_The hell I don't."_

"_Loki-"_

"_How could I ever care about what you do or who you do it with? God, every second I am in here I activily hate," he snarled the word, hoping she would catch the cracking in his voice, "you. You, you did this to me! Now, get OUT!"_

* * *

Loki shook his head violently, trying to get that memory out of his head. And almost vomited when the image of Sigrun, in all her dazzling beauty, lying naked and writhing beneath someone else.

Writhing beneath Fandral.

Fandral, who would try and touch and kiss all her secret places but Loki knew with grim satisfaction that he would never know all those places. And like a blow to the head, he realized he wouldn't know those places again, either.

No, he would not think of her.

* * *

It was eerily quiet. Loki noticed movement, as the dead were moved away but didn't move an eye from his book, and sat still. His mind strayed to Sigrun again and spat out a curse.

"_You might want to take the stairs to the left."_ He had said.

Now thinking back on it, might not have been the best idea, but he had seen the opportunity. Maybe that creature would have taken care of Odin, maybe even Thor. But he hadn't had a thought for Frigga or Sigrun.

The hot hand of guilt squeezed his stomach. He remembered their faces when he had lashed out at them. But nothing knocked the wind out of him like Sigrun.

God, he wanted to take the words back as soon as he had said them. But he needed her to move on, he had hoped his withdrawal from her would be the hint she needed. God, she was stubborn, and he loved her for it.

But he needed her to stop visiting.

Needed Frigga to stop visiting.

He wanted to be left alone.

"_You might want to take the stairs to the left."_

Loki swallowed hard.

What if she had gotten hurt?

Panic set in. What if he had gotten her hurt again?

* * *

"_Why did you go in there?" Loki asked his voice had a sharp edge of worry. Sigrun tried to scoot over in her bed so he could sit down._

"_Because it wasn't right Loki, Thor really could have gotten hurt." _

"_Oh please, he would have been fine."_

"_This is fine?" She gestured to her heavily bandaged leg that ached. The healers did their job, and her wound was on the mend._

"_Thor is a lot bigger than you are, he would have been fine." _

_Loki's face had begin to lose the round boyish shape, and was starting to be more defined. He had grown a lot in the last long while. And Sigrun was no longer the little girl his mother had introduced him too. His blood pounded frighteningly fast through his veins whenever she was close, or walked into a room. She had begun to take shape, and it was hard for him not to notice._

"_I'm sorry." He said unable to meet her eyes. _

"_Just what were you thinking?" She demanded._

"_I thought it would be funny."_

_Sigrun raised her eyebrows so high they almost disappeared into her hairline and snorted._

_Thor was supposed to have gone into that room, he thought angrily. Thor was the one to be scared so thoroughly he would have nearly pissed himself from the illusion that Loki had conjured up. Except it was Sigrun, who had let out a blood curdling scream and tried to run, but ended up tripping and falling into a large glass mirror._

_Thor had gotten to her first, he picked her up from where she had laid, sobbing with a large shard of glass sticking out of her leg. _

_Loki felt irrationally angry at the sight of Sigrun in Thor's arms, but then that changed to fear and then to guilt._

_He looked up when he felt her small warm hand snake into his cooler one._

"_Just tone it down a bit next time okay?"_

_He squeezed her hand._

"_Okay."_

* * *

Loki pushed the thought from his mind. He couldn't, _wouldn't_, think of her, hurt or not.

Besides, he thought, she was probably fine.

* * *

Loki knew it had to be late. Since he was the only prisoner in the dungeons now there were no guards.

He was alone.

He sat in the spindly chair in the corner of his cell, ran his fingers through his black hair, noting briefly how long it had gotten, and picked up a book his mother had brought him.

Several chapters in, he was aware of someone standing outside of his cell.

"I have come to inform you that, the Queen has been killed in the attack on the palace." Fandral's words invaded Loki's senses, and the rage he felt when he first heard the voice was overpowered by a wave of grief. He nodded curtly to show he had heard and accepted the information and waited for the bastard to go away.

Images of his mother swarmed in his mind, with glimpses of Sigrun and Fandral.

Why was he still standing there?

"There is something else." Fandral began, clearly wondering if he should tell Loki. "The Lady Sigrun has been gravely injured." His voice broke, Loki almost didnt notice, blood roared in his ears and he had lost feeling in his hands. The old book fell slowly to the floor and broke apart.

"The healers don't believe she will survive."

Loki turned his head slowly in Fandral's direction. Tears fell silently down his cheeks.

"Get away from me." He snarled

Turning on his heel, Loki's eyes followed Fandral until he was out of sight.

Getting up slowly, Loki heard nothing but the roar in his ears, saw nothing but the spinning room, and felt nothing but the magic and rage flowing in his veins.

And did not flinch as the air around him exploded.


	8. Chapter 8

**Am I supposed to be happy?**

**With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.**

**Am I supposed to be happy?**

**With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.**

**You said, you said that you would die for me...**

**We made plans to grow old,**

**believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.**

**Lost in a simple game cat and mouse,**

**Are we the same people as before this came to light?**

_**The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- "Cat and Mouse."**_

* * *

He was aware of his heart pounding so hard and violently he was in physical agony, briefly wondered if it would rip itself from its cage of ribs and explode from his chest.

He wondered if one could die from this sort of pain, the sort of pain that felt like every cell and synapse was on fire.

With each thunderous pound, he hoped he would.

Loki slid against the wall and fell into a heap on the floor.

_Frigga._

_Sigrun._

He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at the strands so hard he thought he should have felt his scalp separating from his skull.

_All my fault._

His mind's eye raced with images of Frigga and Sigrun so fast they seemed blurred, mixed in were their mangled bodies. He started to scream then, as their voices wormed their way to the surface.

He knew he would lose consciousness soon if he didn't pause for breath, but the sweet thought of nothingness only made him scream harder.

Screams turned into strangled sobs, and soon Loki was hyperventilating and he was sure he was going to die. As his vision turned from blurry to black, and his mind slipped into the void he knew he wasn't going to get off that easy.

* * *

Someone shifted next to him in sleep.

Loki sat up so quickly his head was spinning. He was in his own room, but how? Soft slow breathing caught his attention, looking down to his left his heart leapt. Sigrun! She was okay and she was here.

What in the hell was going on?

He reached a shaking hand to brush the long brown strands away from her face, and ran his fingers up and down her arms.

God, she felt so real.

"Whats wrong?" She asked without opening her eyes.

Swallowing hard, "Nothing, just a nightmare I guess." He replied.

"About?" She turned over, flinging an arm over his bare torso, and placing her head on his chest.

"I was in the cells, there was an attack, and Frigga…and you…dead." He choked the last word.

"Hmmm, well I can assure you I am quite alive. And unless something has happened so is Frigga. But what I would like to know is why you were in the dungeons?" Her fingers were idly tracing paths across his skin causing goosebumps to form.

"I don't remember now."

He was sure this was a dream, sure of it. But he could feel her weight and her warmth in his arms, he could feel it!

He heard a door close and then footsteps.

"Do you hear that?" He asked.

"Hear what? Go back to sleep with me."

"I can't, I think I'm waking up."

"You are awake now." Sigrun's voice was so quiet he could barely hear her over the sound of the approachingfoot steps, footsteps he knew were tramping thru his subconsciousness, urging him away.

* * *

Loki opened his eyes and found himself back in his cell, amongst his destroyed belongings, his body ached, and the spot where Sigrun had laid on him in his dream was still warm.

But more than that he knew he wasn't alone.

"What brings you here after all this time?" He asked Thor, who stood, arms folded outside of his cell.

Thor said nothing, and simply stood, not moving a muscle.

"You must have some reason to come down here." Loki pressed. And then it hit him like a punch to the stomach.

Sigrun. That must be why he is down here.

"Sigrun…she…is she…" He choked, but he couldn't finish, he thought he saw Thor's eyes soften a little.

"She still lives, but she hasn't woken up, the healers are not very confident in her recovery." His voice cracked.

"And what of Frigga? Did she suffer?"

"I did not come to share our grief. I came to make you an offer."

"And what is that?"

"Revenge. To destroy those who killed our mother, and have nearly killed Sigrun."

"You must be truly desperate to come to me for help." Loki shook his head disbelievingly.

"That may be but," Thor stepped closer to the cell wall, "The other times we have fought, I fought with the idea that my brother was still hidden inside your head, I no longer think that, that foolish idea will no longer save you. You betray me and I will kill you."

Loki considered for a moment.

"I want to see her first."

"We don't have time fo-"

"No, you want my help, and I will help you. But, you will take me to see her first."

For a moment, Loki was amused by the look Thor had on his face, a look that quite plainly said he would love to wrap his hands around his neck and choke him to death.

"Fine."

"Well then, when do we start?"

* * *

"She is in there, be quick. Mind you, I don't know what good it will do, she can't hear you." Thor said pointing to the door.

Loki's stomach was churning and he was pretty sure he was going to throw up, but also wondered how angry Thor would be if he managed to vomit on his shoes. He reached for the door handle, but his hands felt numb.

"Open it."

Thor gave him a quizzical look but opened the door anyway.

It took a moment for him to take in what he was seeing.

A body on a bed, which he knew was Sigrun but Fandral. Fandral, leaning over her, murmuring in her ear and placing kisses on her forehead.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Loki snarled, spit flying from his mouth, causing Fandal to jump.

"What is he doing here?" Fandral directed his question at Thor.

"He needs to see her."

"The hell he does."

Loki took a heavy step forward. "Get away from her, and get out."

"What do you care?" This question was for Loki alone. "She told me what you said to her, you know. So please enlighten me as to why you care."

"Get. Out."

"This is all your fault too!" Fandral was advancing toward Loki, "Do you think she couldn't fight through this?"

This brought Loki up short.

"What?"

"You made her give up! You don't think that's not what this is?" He waved a hand, gesturing to Sigrun's form, "You don't think if you hadn't told her you hated her that she would be awake right now? If she dies its because she gave up, not because she wasn't strong enough if she dies it's your fault!"

Fandral had opened his mouth to say more, and what he was going to say was halted by Loki's fist smashing into his face.

"Loki! Fandral! Knock it off!" Thor roared, dodging out of the way as Loki and Frandral crashed passed him, fists muffled as their owners pounded into their opponent's flesh.

Loki tasted blood in his mouth and grunted as a hard fist caved in his stomach.

"Enough!" A womans voice screeched.

The sound caught the two off guard.

"This is a healing ward not brawling ring!" The blonde healer screeched again.

Loki felt his mouth filling with blood and rather than swallowing it, promptly spat it in Fandrals face while he was staring opened mouthed at the woman who seemed to appare out of nowhere.

"Why, you son of a-" Fandral cocked his arm back ready to take another swing.

"Oh no you don't!" The healer grabbed Fandral by the back of his coat. "Out you go!" And threw him from the room, and turned to Loki who stared her down.

"You!" She had obviously just realized who she was staring at.

"Please! He needs to stay, just for a moment." Thor said putting a heavy hand on her shoulder.

She was backing slowly to the door.

"Please, just give him a moment and then you can run to the guards." Thor pleaded again.

There seemed to be an internal struggle going on, and every scenario played out on the woman's face.

"Just a moment." She said stiffly, and hurried away, murmering about other patients.

"Go to her." Thor said, pushing Loki slightly.

With lead feet, Loki took slow steps to where Sigrun lay on the bed, a sheet pulled up to her chin. There was a funny smell that tickled his nose. Other than her being frightinly pale, she seemed whole.

Thor must have seen his confustion, " Pull the sheet back."

Swallowing hard, still tasting blood, he grasped the cool, white sheet and pulled and with a groan he sank into the chair next to the bed.

From her neck down to her chest looked charred, black and oozing, red welts spread out even farther from where the blackness ended.

"Believe it or not that looks better." Thor said quietly.

The smell he realized was a mixure of cooked flesh and some kind of ointment the healers had applied in a thick paste.

Fandral was right, of course, it would be his fault if she died. She was stronger than even Fandral assumed she was, Loki knew that, but he thought after everything, sending her away wouldnt have affected her this way. He thought she would be okay.

But she wasn't, and that was on him.

"Sigrun, please wake up. Please, my beautiful girl." He leaned in close to whisper in her ear, and the smell tickled his nostrils and he hoped he wouldn't sneeze. "I am so sorry, please wake up. I need you… please wake up." He was aware of his voice shaking and the wetness on his cheeks, he hated that Thor was here to see him like this.

"Keep talking." Thor whispered, his eyes fixed on his sister.

"I lied, you know that right? Sigrun, I didn't mean any of it. I just wanted you to be okay; I needed you to be okay and to be happy. I need you to wake up." He pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You are pretty stupid."

"What?" Loki pulled back, shocked, and wasn't sure if it was the unnatural sounding voice that was more surprising or who it came from.

Sigrun coughed, winced, and tried again. "I said, you are pretty stupid."

Thor burst out laughing, and Loki covered her face in soft careful kisses.

"Yeah, yeah I am." He said when he finally reached her lips.


	9. Chapter 9

_It's been months since I've updated this story, and honestly my heart hasn't been in it. But, I am going to at least try to finish!_

* * *

**My beautiful liar**

**You are drowning**

**In your fear**

**You're cutting into me**

**You think if I bleed**

**It can save you**

**Why**

**So tell me**

**So tell me how did you lose yourself at sea**

**Drifting within**

**So tell me why did you cast yourself away**

**It's such a sweet addiction**

**You should celebrate**

**And you know if I could**

**I'd take your pain**

**But will you turn and face your disease?**

_**In This Moment - Lost At Sea**_

* * *

Sigrun could feel the flutter of many hands on her skin, and hear the hushed voices of the healers as they worked but couldn't bring her conscious out of the fog she seemed to be in. Even after Thor visited and begged her to wake up, telling her how brave she had been, she just didn't have the strength to pull herself to the surface.

Frigga was dead.

Loki hated her.

_Loki_…

The sound of his name in her mind seemed to pull her down deeper. She would rather go back to thinking he was dead than alive and loathing her. She couldn't stand the feeling that now she had totally and completely lost him.

* * *

The silent darkness seems so inviting.

She had no idea how long she lay in the healing room, she hadn't heard or felt anyone in hours.

Or was it days…

Weeks even…

Maybe they had given her up as a bad loss, and just left her there to let nature take it's course.

"Sigrun?"

She felt a small pull to the surface.

"Sigrun its me."

_Who the hell is me? _The voice sounded muffled and so very far away, but after an immeasureable amount of time in limbo, Sigrun felt herself rising to the surface.

"Thor told me that you probably cant hear me, but with this crazy plan he has for us I had to come and try."

_Oh, Fandral._ He grabbed her hand, she had almost forgotten she had hands.

"When I get back we can start getting you better," Sigrun could feel his warm breath on her face, and thought she could feel goosebumps forming. "And we can start planning for us."

_Us?_ Fandral placed several light kisses on her forehead.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Her hand dropped back onto the bed, her heart felt like it would rip through her chest.

"What is he doing here?" Fandrals voice was clearer than it had ever been in the fog.

"He needs to see her." Thor's voice answered.

"The hell he does."

"Get a away from her, and get out of here." Loki snarled.

_Loki._

"What do you care? She told me what you said to her, this is probably what you wanted, just disappointed that that creature didn't finish the job, eh?"

_Loki._

"This is all your fault! Do you really think she couldn't wake up if she wanted too?! You destroyed her!" Fandral was getting louder with every word. "She could fight her way out of this but you took all of that out of her!"

Sigrun heard footsteps, and the sickening sound of punches bring thrown and being connected to their targets.

"Loki! Fandral! Knock it off!" Thor roared, the vibrations of furnature being smashed made Sigruns wounds tingle uncomfortably.

"Enough! This is a healing ward not a fighting ring!" A womans voice screamed, causing Sigrun to inwardly cringe.

Their voices faded into the background as her mind raced.

_Loki had come to see her._

_Loki enraged by seeing Fandral at her bed side._

She felt cooler all of a sudden…

"Believe it or not…she looks better." Thor whispered.

Loki made a noise that told her she still looked pretty bad.

"Sigrun please wake up."

_Was he begging?_

"Please my beautiful girl, I need you please wake up."

_Wake up? Really?_

"Keep talking." Thor whispered excitedly.

Sigrun could feel and hear almost everything, she could see light through her eye lids.

"You know I didn't mean any of it, I lied, I just needed you to be okay, to be happy. Oh Sigrun, I need you to wake up."

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Finally, she was at the surface, she wondered if her voice would even work.

"You are pretty stupid." Oh…did that voice actually come from her? She opened her eyes slowly, and turned her head to where Loki sat.

"What?" He said blinking, not sure if he was seeing what he was seeing.

"I said, you are pretty stupid." Still the same unnatural raspy voice, but a bit more strong.

Loki laughed, and leaned in and kissed her, "I am so sorry."

"I know…you said." She sniffed, "What is that smell?"

"That would be you." Thor said from the end of the bed.

"Oh…" Did she really smell like over cooked meat?

"What are you doing here?" Sigrun tried to sit up, but the pain in her neck and chest was overwhelming, and she cried out, Thor rushed to her side and Loki held her down.

"Don't move little one." Loki said tenderly.

"So?" She pressed.

"I need his help." Thor answered, dabbing her chest with a cloth covered in some kind of ointment where her skin had opened.

"With what?"

"To save Jane."

"I'm the only one who knows secret ways out of Asguard, you know that." Loki was tracing lines on her face with one cool long finger.

"I know that…I am just surprised." She tried to catch Thor's eye but he wouldn't look at her.

"I've given my word that I wouldn't cause trouble."

Sigrun chewed her bottom lip, was it horrible that she didn't trust him?

"You cant cause trouble, you cant…this might be the only way you might get released…" She knew it was wishful thinking but she couldn't help the words from gushing.

"That's enough." The healer was back, and bustled over to take over what Thor was doing.

"We will talk when I get back, I promise." Loki leaned over and kissed her for a long while, when the healer clicked her tongue he stood straight up and walked to the door.

"Thor, wait!" She grabbed is arm and pulled him down, "You really don't trust him, do you?" Sigrun whispered.

"No."

"Can you just bring him back, please?"

Thor looked at her sadly, squeezed her hand and joined Loki in the door way.

"I love you, you know that right?" Loki asked.

"I know, I love you too."


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so afraid to admit that you're real**

**cause I'm afraid of what I might feel**

**when your words start to come to life**

**&amp; it brings my demons into the light but I know you're here.**

**I shiver as you whisper in my ear, "Child have no fear".**

**Come back to me love, I forgive you.**

**Oh how I've missed you!**

**Just know every time you run I'll be right here waiting!**

**Come back to me love.**

**I hope you know I'm always with you.**

**I forgive you!**

_**Memphis May Fire - No Ordinary Love**_

* * *

"How much longer do I have to stay here?" Sigrun asked the healer after Thor and Loki left. She tried to ignore the sounds outside the palace, but her body wouldn't stop shaking.

"Your wounds are not healing as we would like," The healer motioned over for help, as some of the wounds began to ooze freely. "We are doing what we can." As confident as she tried to sound, Sigrun could see the concern in her face.

By the time they got the oozing and bleeding under control Sigrun was in tears again, everything was quiet.

"Here, drink this, it will help you sleep."

Sigrun was about to say that she had slept enough, but thepotion was tipped into her mouth anyway. It tasted awful, not like the normal sleeping elixirs she usually took, it must be extra strong. She was beginning to wonder where Thor and Loki were before her mind drifted off into sleep.

* * *

"Allfather, Sigrun needs rest, she shouldn't have any visitors."

"I heard you let her have plenty visitors before. One of them a escaped traitor." Odin countered.

Sigrun heard the healer mumble something, but Odin dismissed her. She kept her eyes shut, hopefully, Odin would think she was asleep and leave, Sigrun heard his heavy body ease into the chair by her bed, and the tinkle of glass bottles as he played with the medicine on the bed side table. He wasn't normally one to fiddle, the mighty Odin.

"Your brother has acted very foolishly." He said as if he knew she was awake. "Letting Loki go, as if he could expect Loki to help him."

_Really?_ She opened her eyes slowly.

"Maybe he can, and he will." Sigrun said as strong as she could muster.

"Loki will be our downfall, all of us."

"Maybe, you seem to have been foolish enough to get us into this situation. Our downfall could very well be because of you."

Odin said nothing.

"You never seem to think that anything can touch you, and you never listen to your sons. Thor was right all along about the dark elves, and now he has to clean up the mess."

"Thor never should have brought that woman here!"

"Whether he did or not we would still be in this situation. Only the dark elves would have found Jane sooner."

"How could I have raised you all to be this way?"

Now it was Sigrun's turn to say nothing.

"Perhaps it is all my fault, as you have said, Loki should have stayed with his own kind, and I should have done the same with you." Odin stared at her with one eye unblinkingly.

"I am pretty sure my life span would have tipped them off, I would have been burned at the stake, or mistaken for a vampire. Now I guess in their timeline it would be pretty cool."

"Thor would be king, and my wife alive," He continued ignoring her, "Thor would have never met Jane Foster, and my realm would be intact."

"I am sorry to have been a burden on you." Sigrun said stiffly.

Odin considered her for a long moment, "As much as I can say those things, it would have been impossible for me to have done them, at least with you. I loved your mother, so much so that it almost made me abandon my home, and family here, I could not have left you behind."

"But you could have done so with Loki."

"I thought I was doing the right thing by him." The same weak argument.

"By lying?"

"And if I had told him the truth do you really think it would have made a difference."

"It couldn't have hurt."

"You will never think ill of him, will you?"

"I know him differently than all of you, I know him differently. I love him." Sigrun shrugged her shoulders, wincing and hoping she didn't causing more oozing to start. Her throat hurt from talking, and her voice was getting harder and harder to understand.

"My King, I must speak with you." A guard stood in the doorway, Odin waved a hand.

"I am with my daughter, it can wait."

"Sir, I have news of Thor."

Sigrun struggled to sit up in the bed as Odin stood to face the guard who walked slowly but surely into the room.

"Well?"

"There was no sign of Thor and the woman, but they had been to Svartalfheim, many bodies of dark elves littered the ground. We believe they have moved on." The guard looked at Odin strangely and sifted his weight from one leg to another.

"What else?"

"We found…we found a body."

Sigrun's head was filled with a whirling noise; she thought she had also gone blind as well as deaf.

_Loki you fucking idiot._

"Loki." Odin said as more of a statement than a question.

The guard simply nodded his head once.

If she hadn't felt the pain rip through her throat Sigrun never would have believed the sound came from her. Something primal and animalistic, agonizing and horrific, she struggled to get out of bed and stand. The floor was slippery and she couldn't get traction, her nightgown felt soaked. In her frenzy her skin, already cracked and charred, ripped open where it had finally begun to heal. The glass bottles on the bedside table were smashed as she slid and almost fell onto the floor.

She wanted to hit someone, hit someone so they could feel just an ounce of what she felt. And Odin stood so close to her that he seemed opportune.

"Healers! You! Come here and help me!" Odin roared, as the guard hurried over to help hold Sigrun on the bed with one hand as the other grabbed the nearest towel to help stop the bleeding.

"How could he have been so stupid?!" She screamed.

_A body, they found a body._

She felt something wet hit her face and realized the guard above her was crying, this infuriated her and decided she would claw his eyes out.

"So fucking stupid!" She reached her hands up to scratch any part she could reach.

"Don't just stand there do something!" Odin roared at the team of healers who stood stunned, taking in the scene, darted forward and grabbed the only bottle that hadn't been smashed on the table.

"Hush now child."The blonde healer said, "It will be better when you wake up."

_Not that fucking sleeping potion again! _

Once again she had no choice as they wrenched her mouth open and poured almost a whole bottle into her mouth. Her body began to feel heavier and heavier, and finally she gave up struggling.

"It will be better when you wake up." Odin echoed the healer.

"He is dead." Sigrun sobbed, she had thought it many times before, but this was the very worst pain she had ever felt.

As she finally drifted off into sleep, she thought she felt an abnormally cool hand stroke her face softly; she leaned into it, and opened her eyes and saw a blurry figure in a guard uniform, before Odin called him away to let her sleep.


End file.
